PARENTS

Witnessing our children learn, compete, and evolve within the realm of soccer is an enjoyable experience for all parents. Yet, regrettably, the realm of high school sports can sometimes evoke the least admirable behavior in adults. While parental involvement and awareness in their child's soccer journey are crucial, the Wappingers Central School District, John Jay Senior High School, and the John Jay Soccer Program prioritize the parental role to embody love, nurturing, and unwavering support.

In alignment with this guiding philosophy, outlined below are several fundamental points that delineate the parent culture within the John Jay Soccer Program.

Let the Coaches Coach

It is crucial to maintain a unified coaching voice within the team. As a parent or supporter, your encouragement and cheers uplift the players, but it's essential to refrain from assuming a coaching role. Offering conflicting instructions or guidance from the sidelines can lead to confusion and disruption for the players, especially your son. While your intentions might be well-meaning, providing directions or coaching from the spectator area tends to do more harm than good. It can be distracting and counterproductive for the players, potentially causing embarrassment for your son and conflicting with the coach's directions. Supporting and cheering for the team without coaching from the sidelines ensures a conducive and focused environment for the players to perform at their best.

Let the Kids Play

Soccer presents its challenges, and those challenges can intensify when parents voice directives from the sidelines. While your support and encouragement uplift the players, it's vital to refrain from excessive involvement. Instead, foster an atmosphere of positive cheering and encouragement for the team. Moreover, empower your son to take ownership of discussions regarding playing time, positions, or any team-related matters by encouraging direct communication with the coach. This approach promotes a constructive dialogue between the player and the coach, fostering a sense of responsibility and independence in addressing team concerns.

Do Not Discuss the Play of Any Players in Front of Other Parents

Statements like "I don't know how he made the team" or "He just isn't fast enough" carry a negative tone that can be hurtful and are absolutely unnecessary. Such comments not only create discord among parents but can also disrupt the harmony crucial for a team's experience and success. Encouraging positivity and constructive feedback rather than negative remarks fosters a supportive environment that uplifts the team's morale and contributes to a more positive overall experience.

Your Children Listen, Believe, & Say the Same Things That You Say to Them

Parental attitudes significantly impact a child's mindset. As a parent, you wield a profound influence on your child and the energy you contribute to their environment. Your son's soccer journey may encompass various challenges—ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks, injuries, and illnesses—that test us all. It's crucial to avoid babying or criticizing them or the soccer program, as this demeanor can inadvertently foster excuse-making behavior in young players. Rather than outward pessimism and negativity, fostering a supportive and constructive environment can nurture resilience and a positive mindset in your child, preparing them to navigate challenges with fortitude and optimism. Far too many players turn into excuse makers due to their parents' outward pessimism and negativity.

Do Not Complain About the Coaching Staff to Other Parents

This is like a disease. If you have an issue, speak to your coach. If the issue is not important enough to speak to your coach about it, it is not worth speaking about it at all.

Positive Comments From the Sidelines

Encourage positive sideline comments as they can inspire players to give their best effort. Our games are played at an intense level, and positive, encouraging words often fuel players' extra efforts. However, the fervor of the sport might occasionally provoke less positive behavior among spectators. As a parent, it's crucial to exemplify good, positive, and appropriate sideline conduct. Remember, you are not just supporting your son but also representing the school and soccer program. Your behavior serves as a vital example, expected to reflect positive role modeling for your son and other spectators.

Avoid Negative Comments About the Other Team

We're engaged in guiding and nurturing children and young adults, not professional athletes. Discussing the opposing team in a derogatory manner is unacceptable and lacks class. Comments of this nature will not be tolerated by WCSD, JJHS, or the John Jay Soccer Program.

Interaction with Parents from the Other Team

Parents are not adversaries; in fact, meaningful conversations and discussions often transpire among parent groups. However, if faced with negativity from certain parents or a group, it's advisable not to engage or lower oneself to their level.

Referees

Just as your child may make mistakes during a game, referees, too, might err occasionally. Refereeing, inherently, involves imperfection, even at their utmost proficiency. It's important to understand that your feedback, whether positive or negative, is neither necessary nor welcomed, regardless of your perception of their performance. Attempting to influence a referee's decision is futile, as no coach, parent, or player has ever succeeded in doing so. Resist the temptation to engage in such attempts.

Outbursts

Reacting negatively towards referees or the opposing team sends a message to our children that blaming others or unfairness is acceptable when things don't go as planned. In sports and in life, blaming isn't a pathway to success.

While we all experience emotions and are occasionally tempted to voice them in the heat of the moment, it's important to remember that this isn't a justification for outbursts. Similar to how our John Jay Soccer players face consequences for actions in the heat of the moment, such as receiving yellow or red cards, committing fouls, etc., we should hold ourselves to similar standards in our sideline behavior.

Walk Away

If all else fails, walk away.